


Crossed Wires & Mixed Signals

by maej26



Category: Monday Night RAW - Fandom, Professional Wrestling, Sports Entertainment, WWE, World Wrestling Entertainment, wrestling - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Chaptered, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-29
Updated: 2011-12-29
Packaged: 2018-04-03 09:55:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4096564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maej26/pseuds/maej26
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mike wants to be with Alex but the two never seem to be on the same page.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Realization

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first story I started using Present Tense rather than Past Tense and it really seemed to help me be more creative.
> 
> Hope you enjoy :)

_He realized he was in love with a man five months ago. This was definitely not something that was planned, the thought had never even occurred to him before. It simply was never a possibility. He had always dated women. That’s how it was supposed to be and so that’s how it was. He never even knew what he was missing out on with all his previous relationships because he didn’t know any differently. He thought he had been in love once or twice, but looking back, Mike knows with complete certainty that he had never truly been in love until now._

**xxxx**

It’s late, nearly approaching midnight and Alex is fully engrossed in some movie. Seeing as how the two have to get up in less than six hours, Mike threatens to turn off the tv but Alex is having none of that. He’s tackling his mentor before Mike even has a chance to comprehend what’s happening, both wrestling for control of the remote. They’re only goofing around and Mike ends up surrendering, as he usually always does whenever Alex wants anything and the younger is always surprised at how different Mike is when it’s just the two of them - he’s hardly anything like he portrays himself to be in the ring.

After Alex successfully defeats Mike for possession of the remote, he doesn’t go back to his own bed. He stays next to Mike, propping himself up against the headboard to finish watching his movie. Maybe he didn’t want to be bothered to get up again or maybe it was something else that kept him there. Mike doesn’t even give it a second thought. He lies there on his side under the covers, only inches from his apprentice. He doesn’t even realize he’s doing it but his eyes are fixated on the hand that’s resting next to him, suddenly he’s wondering what it would be like to hold that hand in his own. His eyes gravitate up Alex’s bare arm and he finds himself wondering what it would be like to be wrapped up in his strong embrace. Soon his eyes find their way to soft lips and just as Mike starts to wonder what Alex tastes like, the younger gasps and turns towards Mike ripping him from his thoughts.

“Oh my God! Did you see that? I wasn’t expecting _that_ , were you?”

“Not in the least,” Mike whispers in a state of shock of his own. _What the hell just happened?_ Mike thinks, his stomach all of a sudden in knots that keep constricting. Tighter and tighter they churned.

“Now, that was a twist I did not see coming!” Alex claps, completely consumed by whatever movie he was watching and obviously not caring that people are asleep in the next room. “Even if I find it hard to function tomorrow, that was definitely worth staying up late for. Am I right or am I right?!” Alex laughs, still on an emotional high from the movie. “Thanks, Mike.” And Mike feels his cheeks start burning when Alex winks at him and hands him the remote control.

Mike can only smile up at Alex, words refusing to form at this point and as Alex gets up to move back to his own bed again, Mike feels the smile fade from his face. The guy was only a few feet away but it felt more like miles to Mike and from this point on, he was a goner, completely ruined, his heart beating only for one person – his best friend, Alex Riley.


	2. A Secret

A month goes by and Mike never acts on his feelings. Sometimes he lets out his frustration on the show, yelling at Alex a bit too much. Afterwards, he always feels like shit. When they’re alone though, they always get along and Mike thinks, This is what counts.

One night, the two men are sitting in their shared hotel room and Mike feels unusually confident about the situation.

“Can I ask you something?”

Alex turns towards Mike, doesn’t hesitate for a second, “Sure thing.”

“Something personal?”

“Shoot,” Alex responds giving Mike his undivided attention.

“Have you ever had feelings for someone you know you shouldn’t?” As Mike is starting his fishing expedition, he’s suddenly realizing he’s not as confident as he thought.

Alex stares at Mike for a few seconds before answering, “Yeah, I have.” He clears his throat and continues, “There was someone in college.”

“You had the hots for teacher!” Mike giggles trying to compensate for the awkward tension he released into the quiet room.

“Not exactly. He was actually one of my frat buddies.” Alex confesses rather hesitantly.

Wait. Wait. What? Mike’s mind begins racing and he’s rendered speechless.

“Ah fuck. I freaked you out, didn’t I? I shouldn’t have said anything.” Alex gets up like he wants to disappear somewhere but it’s a tiny room, it’s not like he could really go anywhere.

“No, it’s okay, man. I’m not judging, I just wasn’t expecting that kind of answer…So, what happened?” Mike questions, not wanting to push Alex to talk about anything he’s not comfortable with but hell, he’s really fucking curious now and just the idea that Alex could possibly be interested in him makes his palms start to sweat.

Alex looks over at Mike, reading him like a book and knows it really is okay. Sitting back down Alex explains, “I met him junior year and I just always wanted to be around him. He was really popular and a really good-looking guy. I mean, movie star good looks. You know, the ‘all the girls wanted to be with him and all the guys wanted to be like him’ type. He seemed to always choose me over anyone else and I suppose I got all wrapped up in that.” Alex pauses for a second and when he realizes Mike’s hanging onto every word, he gets a bit nervous but continues, “I, uh, well, turned out he was bi.” Alex shakes his head like that was already a given.

Mike raises his eyebrows, surprised at the direction this conversation is heading in, “Oh. Did you guys hook up or anything?”

“Mike, I don’t think we should talk about this anymore.” Alex gets up again and strides to the other side of the room like it’s safer over there somehow.

Mike stands up now. “It’s okay, Alex, I promise I’ll never tell anyone anything. I just…want to know you.” Mike shrugs his shoulders trying to be as sincere as he possibly can be.

Alex delays his response for a few long seconds, he wants Mike to know him too so he confesses, “I dated him for a few months. There. I said it. And he turned out to be a complete asshole. I don’t even think he really ever gave a shit about me anyway. Just used me, I guess.” Alex rolls his eyes as if to push back the unwelcome memories.

“Dumbass,” Mike whispers under his breath.

“What’s that?” Alex leans in trying to catch the echo.

“I just…Nothing,” and Mike sits back down.

For a second Alex squints his eyes and wonders what exactly is going on. “But I’m not gay, Mike,” Alex reassures his all too curious friend with a stern tone and he’s pretty convincing.

Fuuuuuckkkkkk. Mike lowers his head, deeply disappointed by what Alex just said. Doesn’t even realize he’s being so obvious. At first Alex missed it but not anymore. The subtext of the conversation hasn’t gone over his head. Not one bit.

Alex stands there looking at Mike, suddenly feels guilty for what he’s about to say but he pulls it together before Mike looks up at him again. “That was just a one time thing, Mike. A complete fluke. I like girls. I’m attracted to girls,” he nods, driving the point home.

“Of course. I know.” Mike’s throat closes on him, lets out a gulp that embarrasses him further but he doesn’t stop there. “And the girls are attracted to you so it all works out.” Poor Mike is a fantastic actor but he’s only hanging on by a thread now and it’s painful realizing that. He feels tears starting to sting his eyes and gets up before he falls apart right in front of Alex.

After the lights are turned off, Mike stares at the ceiling. He can’t even close his eyes. I don’t understand why I would have these feelings if they’re only ever going to be one-sided. That’s just too cruel a joke. Am I just letting all the attention Alex gives me go to my head? Is this all just a fluke like he said? That damned word fluke echoes in the depths of Mike’s head for what seems like forever. He wants to cry, he wants to sob for hours but he holds it in. Can’t afford to let Alex hear how weak he is, how pathetic he is.


	3. Confrontation

Valentine’s Day comes along and the way Alex looks at Mike when they’re in character is too much to bear. The way Alex hugs him on national television for the whole world to witness is torture. He used to love it when Alex hugged him but now he knows it’s not _his Alex_ hugging _him_ , it’s just the characters.

Soon, Mike is told that Alex is being sent back to Florida to be repackaged and this makes Mike nauseas in a way he’s never experienced before. That evening he arrives at the hotel before Alex does. He waits for a solid hour. He doesn’t even move, just drowns in a million thoughts that keep pulling him under. Finally, Alex walks through the door and Mike is out of the chair before the door has time to click into place.

“Hey, Mike,” Alex greets his friend with a warm smile, his eyes lighting up automatically when they connect with Mike’s.

 _Damn it_ , Mike thinks, _there’s that look, there’s that smile_. And he can’t stay away any longer. Alex barely even has time to set his bag on the floor before he’s enveloped in Mike’s arms.

“What is it, Mike? What’s wrong?” Alex’s voice trembles just enough to notice.

Mike releases his friend and takes a step back. His eyes starting to water and he mumbles to himself, “You’d think I would have had enough time to figure out how to say it.”

Alex now takes a step back reaching out his hand and turning his body sideways as if to shield himself from what he knows is about to come, “No, Mike. Don’t say it.”

Mike just stares at Alex, he can’t decide if he’s angry or impressed that Alex knows what he’s going to say. He settles on a variation of anger though, “Fine, I won’t say it because I don’t have to say it, do I?” Mike takes two steps forward closing the gap and rests a hand on the large chest, feels a strong heart racing. The anger slowly melts away with each beat and he looks up at Alex, tears about to drop at any second and he feels like a girl in this moment but he really doesn’t care. His lips are dangerously close to Alex’s lips now but the taller man tilts his head back just enough. His steady eyes are drawn down into Mike’s shaky sparkling blues and he starts to lose himself in them.

“I know you want this, too,” Mike whispers so softly it’s almost not audible, his warm breath dancing on Alex’s chin. Then he feels Alex start to give in and just as Mike feels the sensation of their lips brushing against one another for the first time, Alex pushes Mike off him, the jolt forcing the tears to finally fall down his cheeks. “Alex,” Mike whimpers as he’s desperately trying to dry his face and compose himself.

“I told you this wasn’t going to happen again, Mike! Were you not paying attention?” Alex yells and Mike’s never seen him this angry before, not with _him_.

Masking his pain with anger of his own, Mike bitterly barks out, “It’s all just a _fluke_ , right? Yeah, I was paying attention, you prick!” _Oh fuck, I didn’t mean to say prick,_ Mike thinks but that still doesn’t stop him. “It doesn’t matter anyway. They’re sending you back to Florida.” _Shit, shit, shit._

“Excuse me?” Alex turns around instantly, his eyebrows raised, hoping he misheard Mike or that Mike was just lying to piss him off.

“You heard me. Tomorrow night is your last match and then you catch a plane back to Tampa.”

It takes a second for it all to sink in but when it does, Alex is almost disgusted with Mike for what he’d done. “Wait a minute. You just threw yourself at me knowing full well that I would be leaving? What if I _had_ kissed you and given into you? We’d both be screwed! What the fuck were you trying to accomplish?” Alex lashes out with a shove and Mike lands on the bed. Quickly he bounces back and shoves Alex in return. Alex doesn’t even really budge. Perhaps Mike was too drained from the confrontation or maybe he just didn’t give it his all because he wasn’t out to hurt the man he loves so much. Besides, he’d already managed to hurt him enough in the span of two minutes, he can’t bear to cause him further pain. Alex is still seething and shoves Mike as hard as he can to the bed once more. As Mike springs back to his feet he grabs hold of Alex’s collar and struggles with the stronger man for a time before finally speaking.

“I’m sorry,” Mike’s gravelly voice aching with desperation now. He tugs on Alex’s shirt and loses his balance. He falls backwards pulling Alex down with him. He’s now halfway leaning on the edge of the bed and Alex is holding himself up with one arm - their faces so close now. “I was scared, Alex. I _am_ scared. I remember how I felt after you got that DUI and I thought I’d never see you again. It almost killed me and that was when I only thought of you as a friend but _now_ …” Mike takes a deep breath and Alex can feel his friend’s body tremble beneath him. “I didn’t mean for this to happen. Why can’t you just admit that you feel the same way? What’s holding you back?”

Alex tries his damnedest to break Mike’s grip on him but Mike is locked on. He feels Mike’s weight on him, his head in the crook of his neck as they’re caught in this awkward position. “Michael,” Alex whispers, wanting to plead for his release but the words aren’t there.

Mike raises his head again searching for Alex’s comforting eyes but they’re closed and Mike can see just how conflicted Alex really is in this moment. This gives him hope and he pushes just a little more. “Please, Alex. Just let me know I’m not in this alone.” With this, Mike moves in ever closer and at last his lips are pressed against Alex’s. And the younger man isn’t fighting this time. His lips are soft and inviting and Mike stands up releasing the now stretched-out shirt and moves his hands up to hold Alex’s face instead.

After a few moments of a kind of peace Mike has never known before _in his entire life_ , he starts to feel Alex pulling away and reluctantly allows him to do so. Now, they’re each leaning with their foreheads against one another and Alex sighs, “I’m so sorry, Mike, but that’s all I can ever give you.” And as he steps away, Mike almost stumbles forward as he clutches his chest.

**xxxx**

Mike doesn’t show any real emotion the next night until he’s alone with Alex in their dressing room. John had just defeated his younger opponent in the main-event bringing what Mike had told Alex the night before to fruition.

“Are you coming back to the hotel with me?” Mike asks, ever hopeful but not too naïve to already know the answer.

“No. My flight’s in a couple hours.” Alex can barely look in Mike’s direction but it’s not because he’s mad, he just can’t afford for Mike to see the tears forming in his eyes.

“Oh,” Mike sighs as he lowers his head. “I’m gonna miss you,” he whispers sadly and he thinks he hears a hitch in Alex’s breath.

“I’m gonna miss you, too,” Alex confesses softly and pulls Mike in for one last hug. It lasts a bit longer than either one expected but not as long as each one would like.

After Alex is gone and the door closes leaving Mike all alone, he waits a minute before he cries quietly to himself.


	4. Change is in the Air

A couple agonizing weeks later and Mike gets word from the top that Alex is coming back. Mike is so fucking happy he doesn’t even know what to do with himself. As soon as he calms down and is able to think actual, coherent thoughts, he promises himself that this time will be different. He’ll be friends with Alex again. No pressuring him for anything more, even if he still wishes things were different.

The first time the two men see each other again they end up in a familiar hug, both so happy to see the other. Mike thinks that maybe Alex had the same idea of just putting the past behind them and starting over since there didn’t seem to be any tension between the two anymore. He’s hurt by this, of course, but if the last couple weeks have taught him anything, it’s that just being close to the guy is all Mike really needs anyway. At least, this is what he tells himself.

Things seem to resume as if the last few weeks never happened and they’re back to how it used to be - just an easy, fun, carefree friendship, and so what if maybe sometimes Mike thinks about rolling around naked and making love with his friend, that’s totally irrelevant. Well, not really. Mike can’t _not_ think about Alex when he closes his eyes to go to sleep at night. He thinks about their one perfect kiss and most nights that’s enough but the more time he spends with Alex again, the more he starts wanting _more again_ \- the more he starts wanting _everything_. He often wishes this _had_ been just a fluke, but it’s lasted too long and it runs too deep.

The next few weeks prove to be a clusterfuck of emotions for Mike. First, he’s ecstatic to main-event WrestleMania with his best friend and the experience only brings them closer. It reminds him of when he won the WWE Championship and the way it bonded the two of them. Then, he gets another scare when Alex is drafted to Smackdown and it’s like déjà vu all over again thinking he’s losing Alex but Creative assures him that it’s only for one week. They were telling the truth, thank God, but after that, he loses his Title and this is not looking good. He starts to worry about the show’s plans for the future and what they would do with his friend now that everything’s changing. The Championship is what held them together, it’s what connected the two and without _that_ , Mike seriously starts to fear the worst. It didn’t help matters that Alex seemed to be much more affectionate to him in the ring lately. Mike can’t help but wonder why the younger seems to be holding on so tight. That’s the feeling he gets anyway. All this extra attention since Alex got back certainly hasn’t gone unnoticed but it’s just in a friends-kind-of-way, right? He’s not sure what to think right now except that something is about to happen.

 **xxxx**  

It’s a sunny afternoon in mid-May and the two men are on their way to the next hotel. Mike glances over to this right and sees that Alex might be asleep but isn’t sure.

“Alex, are you awake?” Mike asks gently.

“Yeah, Mike,” Alex answers from his semi-conscious state.

“Has anyone talked to you about the upcoming storyline for us?”

“No, Mike.”

“Alex?”

“Yeah, Mike?”

A smile blooms across Mike’s face, he absolutely loves hearing Alex say his name but he knows the guy’s tired so he figures he’d just leave it at that. “Nothing. You can go back to sleep now.” And without thinking he reaches over and runs his fingers through his friend’s soft hair causing Alex to smile softly before drifting back to sleep.


	5. Bad News

Mike wakes up thinking it had just been a bad dream, a really bad dream but it wasn’t. It was as real as it gets. He recalls the night before when he was informed by Vince that he’d lose at Over the Limit and to top it off, he’d blame Alex for his loss and fire him the next night on RAW. _And this time_ , Vince’s words pierce Mike’s heart like daggers as they reverberate in every corner of his memory, _it’s a done deal. Alex no longer needs you._

“But I need _him_ ,” whispers Mike sadly to himself as he rolls over and curls into a ball.

Alex isn’t in the room when Mike finally gets up and he panics for a moment. There was no note. No messages on his phone. Of course, he could have called Alex to find out where he was but decides to head down to the gym and blow off some steam instead. Tries to think about things and how he’d tell Alex the news and hopefully not fuck it up this time.

When Mike makes it back to the hotel room after his work out, he’s relieved to find Alex lying on the bed watching tv. _So beautiful, so content_ , Mike thinks as he momentarily permits himself to admire Alex’s perfect form. He only allows himself a few seconds to ensure the other doesn’t have a chance to notice though. “Hey, where were you earlier?” Mike tries to act normal, wants to wait a little while longer before telling Alex what would happen to them in a couple days.

“I went out for some air. I was going to wake you but you looked really peaceful and I wasn’t about to disturb you. After all, you need your beauty sleep, right?” Alex flashes the sweetest smile and his subtle flirtation makes Mike blush as if on cue, just like he knew it would. “Hey, you wanna grab a bite to eat? I’m starving.”

Mike nods and says he has to shower first. As Mike’s getting ready, Alex finds himself turning off the tv and opting just to listen to the sound of running water, knowing that Mike is standing under it naked. Thinks about how if he wasn’t so intent on seeing this thing through, he’d be in there with him right now.

**xxxx**

The two go to Denny’s, the most reliable restaurant in America, and Mike teases Alex for ordering a ridiculous amount of food. For a second Mike is able to forget about the bad news he has to deliver, but that second quickly passes. The smile drops from his face when he remembers and it’s so obvious that Alex asks him what’s wrong.

“I have to tell you something but I was gonna wait til we got back to the room,” Mike says without lifting his eyes from the table.

“Tell me now, Mike.”

“I guess there’s no right time to say it anyway. It’s not good,” Mike warns, looking up at Alex with the saddest fucking eyes the guy has seen in a long time. Mike reiterates to Alex what Vince had told him the night before on the phone except he leaves out the last bit about Alex not needing him and sells it as Alex finally getting the push he so rightly deserves.

Alex becomes tense and stares at Mike just long enough for him to think he’s finally affected the guy but suddenly as if Alex is having a totally different conversation, he replies with, “Oh, that’s it?”

Mike’s stunned. “Exactly. _That’s it._ It’s over. They’re gonna,” and Mike hesitates, thinking to himself and wishing he could just say it out loud, _They’re gonna take you away from me._ But finishes instead with, “They’re gonna place you in a different storyline.”

“Nah, I don’t think so,” Alex responds nonchalantly, relaxing his body and leaning back against the booth. “This is what they do. They’ll have us get in a fight and maybe I’ll disappear for another week, but they’ll bring me back like they always do. Mike, they know how well we work together, they’re not going to separate us.” And as Mike listens intently, he almost lets himself believe the words but then he hears Alex’s voice crack and thinks maybe the younger man is mostly just trying to convince himself and that scares the shit out of him.

“It’s different this time,” Mike sighs. Capturing Alex’s eyes with his own and turning deadly serious, Mike adds, “In two days time, you and I aren’t going to be allowed to see each other anymore. This right here,” Mike slams his finger on the table assertively, “Denny’s, car trips, ( _you getting to be the last thing I see before I fall asleep and the first thing I see when I wake up_ , Mike thinks) all of it, it’s done.” Mike holds on, hoping he has finally made the severity of situation be known. When nothing seems to be clicking, Mike throws his arm up and slouches back, “But hey, maybe that’s exactly what you want.”

“Mike…” Alex starts but is quickly interrupted.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for you. You’ve earned this.”

Just then the waitress arrives with their orders. Alex sits there staring at all that food, watches as Mike starts to eat and he just can’t seem to find his appetite now.

Mike takes a big bite. “Aren’t you going to eat? I thought you were starving,” Mike says harshly as he’s chewing his food, so annoyed and hurt he can’t even taste it. And he’s aware of just how rude he sounds talking with his mouth full but that’s exactly what he intended.

“Um…Can we just go?”

Mike gives his friend a quizzical look as he swallows. Seeing the expression on Alex’s face makes him feels bad about how he just behaved. “Uh…Sure, I guess.” Mike requests some to-go boxes in hopes that Alex will eat later.

When the two get back to their room, Alex collapses on his bed and falls asleep almost immediately. He doesn’t even bother changing his clothes. Mike figures the news must have hit the younger pretty hard when he finally accepted it. He’s never seen him look so…so depressed before. Wishes he could get into bed and just hold the guy - to comfort him, to comfort himself. He knows he can’t do that though.

Mike ends up sitting on the edge of his own bed and watches Alex for ten minutes? Two hours? He doesn’t even know. He takes his time memorizing every detail about Alex in this moment. The way he looks, the way he sounds as he breathes in and out, the way his chest rises and falls. The way he starts to lightly snore but only for a few seconds at a time and that’s Mike’s favorite part. He tries to focus on that as he’s closing his eyes to go to sleep and not on his match at Over the Limit tomorrow night or what will happen the following night on RAW.


	6. Over the Limit

Alex is standing in the dressing room looking over the fresh welts on Mike’s back as the older is putting on his shirt. “Man, Cena didn’t hold back.”

“Neither did you,” Mike mutters as he thinks about how Alex hugged him earlier in the ring.

“What?”

“Nevermind. Just forget it,” Mike back-pedals as he’s buttoning his dress shirt.

“No, tell me what you meant by that,” Alex snaps defensively.

Mike starts to fuss with his tie thinking it will provide a distraction and calm him down but when he realizes that he can’t tie it properly in this heightened state of frustration, he gives up and spins around abruptly to face Alex. “Why do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Why do you hug me like that?”

Alex takes a step back and he doesn’t realize that his body language is speaking volumes. “Like what?”

Mike’s face is all contorted like he’s really trying to figure out what’s going on inside Alex’s head. His demeanor doesn’t match up with what he says and it’s frustrating for Mike.

“Ever since you got back it’s been so over-the-top. The way you flirt with me, the way you hug me. Do you think I don’t notice it? Do you think I don’t see the way you look at me? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t fucking love it, every second of it.” Mike starts to move closer to Alex now. “I like the way you make me feel, it’s like I’m the only one you see and it makes me feel special and…” Mike’s voice trails off before he finishes that particular thought and he picks back up again before there’s too much time to really notice. “But, it’s the pretending I can’t stand. Why do you try and act like this isn’t happening?” All that was probably more than Mike meant to say but he can’t help it.

 _Why does he push so hard?_ Alex wonders but doesn’t say a word. His breathing has quickened though and Mike can see that the guy is nervous. Still, this is exactly what the problem is and he can’t seem to break through these walls Alex has built around him. Mike thinks about the last time they were in this situation. He doesn’t want to relive that heartache but he figures he owes it to himself to give it one more try. He steps closer to Alex and gently places a hand on his cheek, which turns a warm shade of pink when their flesh makes contact. With this, the stoic man suddenly seems more accessible.

“You feel that?” Mike asks sweetly as Alex turns his cheek into the palm of his hand. “See, everything fades away and it’s just you and me.” Mike pauses and takes in the sight of Alex standing there with his eyes closed as he’s cradling his face and this couldn’t feel more right to Mike. “It’s a sense of true peace and contentment and every fiber of your being vibrates with this…this indescribable _warmth_. I know you feel it too, don’t you?”

Alex feels like a fool for letting himself give into Mike again. It’s like he loses his grip on any shred of control he has when this man gets too close and these words that he’s speaking. _These fucking words_. No one’s ever spoken to him like this before and he’s almost certain no one’s ever felt this way about him before either. Alex isn’t sure how and he’s starting to forget why he forces himself to stay so guarded but he manages to fight through it all and he opens his eyes. _Oh shit_ , he thinks as he connects with the desperate ones in front of him. Mike looks so gorgeous and vulnerable and Alex wants nothing more than to give into every temptation he has and obey any command Mike gives but he’s come so far. He can’t fold now. Suddenly, his face hardens as he shakes his head from side to side. Braces himself for what he anticipates will happen next. “No, I don’t feel it,” he lies.

“What the fuck? That’s my fucking soul!” Mike explodes as he backs away and he can’t stop moving around the room. His hands cover his face at first and then move up to squeeze his faux hawk as he berates himself aloud. “Really? REALLY?! Unbelievable. I must be a glutton for punishment over here.” And he’s shaking his head as he puts on his jacket and fetches his suitcase. He wants to leave but as he’s turning around to face Alex, he finds it impossible to stop his thoughts from verbalizing and he’s right up in the stubborn man’s face again. “Do you think I wanted this? To fall in love with a _man_?” Alex was trying to avoid eye contact but when he hears the word love, his eyes dart upward and lock onto Mike’s with an electric intensity that even Mike can feel. “This is the hardest, scariest fucking thing that’s ever happened to me but it’s real. This is real for me,” Mike stresses. “And I know it is for you, too. Maybe you’re thinking about that little _fling_ you had in college, that fucking _fluke_ of a relationship and are afraid that I’ll hurt you like that jackass did but I won’t. I would never do that to you.” Mike lets that sink in for a second, imagines he sees tears in Alex’s eyes and then he’s on the move again. “But you obviously don’t have a problem doing that to _me_. You go ahead and smash my heart into a million pieces _again_ , Alex Riley. You seem to be really good at it.” He exits the room and the sound of the door slamming shut behind him makes Alex wince.

Mike stands outside in the hall leaning his head against the cold concrete of the building. He knows Alex must think he’s left him at the arena by himself and it gives him a stale sense of satisfaction being in control like that but he’s not a complete asshole and would never have it in him to actually do it. It’s been a few minutes and he wonders what’s taking Alex so long. After fixing his tie, he peeks his head back in the room. “Well, are you coming or not?” Mike asks, still completely exasperated. He doesn’t even notice that Alex is standing in the same spot as he last left him.

The drive back to the hotel is silent. Mike looks over at Alex every so often and he doesn’t know what to make of the guy. He rejects him twice and _he_ looks like the one who’s had his heart broken. It makes no sense but Mike doesn’t have the energy to analyze the conundrum sitting next to him right now. It doesn’t keep him from feeling sick to his stomach though, seeing Alex this way and knowing this is their last night together.


	7. The Last Night

The tension is thick in the air as the two get ready for bed, neither man saying a word. Mike’s the first to lie down. He’s on his side with his battered back facing towards Alex’s bed. He closes his eyes and listens as Alex disappears into the bathroom, wishes the guy would just hurry up and turn off the lights so he can go to sleep and escape this awful night.

Alex stares at himself in the mirror and he’s ashamed of the reflection looking back at him. Ever since Mike said the word love, that’s all Alex can think about. He honestly didn’t know, didn’t believe, that Mike could actually be in love with him. _This changes everything_ , he thinks and hopes he has it in him to make it right. He works up the courage and walks out into the room quietly, slowly, and can’t take his eyes off Mike as he makes his way to his own bed. _He looks so peaceful_ , Alex thinks, but knows what Mike’s feeling on the inside must be pure turmoil and it’s all his fault which makes him feel dirty and unworthy of any love Mike may still have for him.

He sits on the edge of his own bed and looks at Mike’s back. Sees all the bruises and welts left behind by the leather strap. They’re much more defined now than they were earlier and it makes him sick to his stomach when he realizes that’s what Mike’s heart would look like if he could see it.

Mike lets out a huff when he hears Alex getting into bed, annoyed that he hasn’t turned off the lights yet but he still doesn’t say anything. Can’t say anything.

Alex takes a deep breath, relieved that Mike is still awake but scared shitless at the same time because that means he can’t back out of what he knows he needs to do.

“When I met you,” he starts, his voice shaky as hell - which surprises even himself since he’s such a fantastic speaker but he’s never had to be this honest before in his life. He thinks about how brave Mike was _twice_ and he decides to lay all his cards out on the table, he figures he at least owes Mike that much so he continues despite his nerves, “I was so drawn to you and I was completely consumed by everything you are and I was happier with you than I ever was with anyone.”

Mike is genuinely shocked that Alex is actually talking and about his feelings no less. He thought it was all over just a few seconds ago. His eyes remain closed and he forces himself not to speak, just listens intently.

“After what happened in college, with the guy I told you about, I went back to dating girls. One girl after another and I never liked another guy so I figured it was just me being curious and that’s what I thought for years…until you came along and not to sound trite but you knocked me off my fucking feet, Mike Mizanin. At that point, I knew that experience with that idiot was to prepare me - so I’d _know_ that what I felt for you wasn’t my imagination or me being curious or being caught up in all the attention you’d give to me. I knew what I felt for you was _real_ and it felt good not having to question it.” Alex pauses to wipe his eyes and he turns over to face Mike before he continues. He doesn’t care if he’s talking to Mike’s back, he just wants to be able to see him.

“But you were straight,” he continues. “You had a girlfriend. It was really hard for me at first to see you with her and it would hurt so much but you were the _best_ friend to me and that helped a lot, Mike. It took me a few months to accept that we would never be anything more than friends but I eventually did and I learned to live with these feelings.”

Mike tears up as he knows all too well what Alex must have been going through back then. He can’t believe they’ve both suffered so badly and for so long and then he hears Alex pick back up.

“Then you asked me about having feelings for someone I shouldn’t and I wanted to tell you, I promise Mike, I wanted to tell you so badly how much I felt for you but I didn’t know you were thinking about me then. Not at first anyway. I thought maybe after Maryse broke up with you, you started liking one of her friends. But I did want to tell you something true, something as close to a confession as I could without ruining everything so I told you about my ex.” Alex sits up now, perched on the edge of the bed. “When you seemed okay with it, something…I don’t know, something must have switched over in my brain. Maybe knowing that there was a possibility for the two of us scared me more than I could have known – You’d end up hurting me or I’d end up hurting you,” Alex rolls his eyes when he realizes the horrible irony in his decision. “I knew how sad and angry you got when things ended between you and Maryse in January and even I couldn’t cheer you up. If we did get together and it ended badly, I was scared it would throw you off track and I was scared for what would happen to you if people found out about us. At the time you were WWE Champion, you had every opportunity waiting for you and I thought I was being strong for the both of us. I thought, ‘I’ll tell him I’m not gay and what happened with the other guy was a fluke and when he wakes up in the morning he’ll think anything he felt for me was just that, a fluke and he’ll get over it and move on.’”

Mike cringes every time Alex says that awful word. He swears if he never hears the word fluke again, it’ll be all too soon.

“I really thought you did get over it and it made me sad, so fucking sad but I always over-compensated for that loss that I felt. I thought, if he sees me happy, he won’t know how sad I am. But looking back, I guess that must have just confused you even more. God, I’m such an asshole,” Alex sighs and holds his head in his hands. Closes his eyes tight as he regrets so much. When he calms down he lifts his head to look up at Mike again. Thinks he’s never heard the guy be quiet for this long _ever_ but he appreciates being given this time. He just hopes it’s all getting through to Mike.

“When you tried to kiss me that night, it took everything in me not to grab hold of you and _be_ with you but then you told me I was being sent away and I needed that kiss as much as you did. If only just once. I thought I was saying goodbye to you, goodbye to _us_ , but then they brought me back and I knew it was just a matter of time before the other shoe dropped again and they took me away from you, for good this time. Those two weeks we spent apart almost killed me, Mike, and so when I came back I wanted to cherish every second I had with you, as lame as that might sound. I didn’t care if I had to carry that briefcase or be made to look like a fool, just as long as I was with you, none of that other stuff mattered anymore. And you seemed so happy and acted like that night never happened, I actually convinced myself that you must have realized there was nothing more than friendship between the two of us, just like I knew you would. Yeah, I would flirt with you and touch you more than I should have but it wasn’t intentional. Obviously, now I’m glad that I did, otherwise you wouldn’t have confronted me tonight but I wasn’t trying to lead you on, I promise you, Mike.” Now, Alex gets up and kneels beside Mike’s bed and he hears Mike catch his breath.

“I can’t believe you did it again,” Alex’s voice is so tender and sweet and he reaches out to run his fingers through Mike’s hair. “Even knowing we’d be separated again, you still wanted to be with me and me being completely oblivious to everything, I didn’t realize it was because you loved me until you said it.”

And there’s Mike’s cue. He turns his head, running his face over his pillow instead of rolling over. He does this to avoid rubbing his back against the mattress but mostly so he can wipe the tears from his face before Alex sees what a complete mess he is. When he looks up at Alex though, he realizes the effort wasn’t necessary, his face is also wet with tears. Mike reaches out his hand to hold Alex’s cheek and wipe the tears away and Alex leans his elbows on the bed and holds onto Mike’s wrist with both hands. “I am so sorry, Mike,” Alex whispers, he almost can’t even get the words out and it’s apparent that he’s about to break down. “What you said earlier, I do feel it. _Of course I feel it_.” Alex reaches a hand out to hold Mike’s face. “And you were _never_ alone, I’m sorry I ever made you feel like you were.”

Mike smiles softly and then becomes saddened for Alex. “But you were, weren’t you? For months you were alone. I’m sorry it took me so long to realize what was there the whole time.”

Alex shakes his head as he grimaces, “You have nothing to apologize for.”

“That’s not true,” Mike confesses, turning into his pillow to dry the corner of his eye. “There were so many things I did wrong. I told you Maryse broke up with me. She didn’t. I ended things with her. I couldn’t stay with her when I had feelings for you, it just wouldn’t be right. I wasn’t angry back then because of her, I was angry at myself for not being able to talk to you. And then when you came back, I tried to suppress my feelings for you even though I knew that wasn’t gonna work. We really fucked up, didn’t we?” Mike watches Alex lower his head and then he moves over so there’s a space next to him. “Come here,” invites Mike. Alex gets into bed and Mike presses his body into him. Holds him tight like he never wants to let him go and Alex kisses his forehead.

“I love you,” Alex whispers and that _warmth_ he spoke of earlier intensifies to a level Mike didn’t know existed.

Five months ago he realized he was in love with his best friend who just happened to be a man. It wasn’t planned or something he thought would ever happen but he wouldn’t change a thing, even when knowing how hard it was for them to get to tonight. Now, he’s wrapped up in Alex’s strong arms, feeling safer and more loved than he ever has and he knows this won’t be easy but it’ll be worth it - every second of the bliss and the heartache. He knows it will be worth it because he’ll be with Alex and he’ll share it all with Alex.

 _I love you_ …Mike replays the words in his head and he just can’t believe how the night turned around so incredibly. He looks up to Alex and properly declares his love for the man and the two kiss like nothing is holding them back anymore. They make out and enjoy each other for hours - laughing, talking, tumbling around on the bed and Mike doesn’t even notice that his back hurts. All the pleasure he feels washes away any of the pain. The two lovers end up falling asleep in each other’s arms, never more happy in their lives than they are this night.

**xxxx**

Mike usually hates getting up so early but when he opens his eyes and remembers he’s next to his boyfriend – his _boyfriend_! – he suddenly doesn’t mind so much.

“Good morning, sleepyhead,” he whispers and begins kissing Alex’s neck. He hears the man moan lightly and he thinks he’ll never get tired of that sound. “Thank you for last night.” And the way Alex can feel Mike smile against him sends sparks shooting throughout his whole body.

“Are you kidding?” Alex chuckles. “Thank _you_. I want to do that every night with you.”

“Yeah, me too.” Mike reaches over to capture Alex’s lips with his own. He momentarily gets sidetracked there, releasing the cutest moans and Alex can’t believe how satisfied he can make Mike with a kiss. “Are you always going to taste this sweet?” Mike purrs and the exchange elicits quite the reaction from Alex. He rolls over on top of Mike, grinding their naked bodies together and this causes Mike to gasp allowing Alex to deepen the kiss further. Mike coils his arms under Alex’s arms to hold on tight to each shoulder. The two open their eyes at one point making the whole thing seem completely erotic. Mike remembers that there was actually something he wanted to say. Hates to break from the kiss but that’s how important he feels this is. “Alex,” Mike moans as he tilts his head back and he can’t even tell if he pronounces his name right but when Alex moves to kiss his chin instead, he’s able to say what he needs to. “We’re going to figure something out, I promise,” Mike almost breathes the words instead of speaking them. Alex is able to kiss Mike a few more times randomly on his face before he falls to the slighter man’s side, bringing Mike’s hand up to his chest in the same motion, their fingers dancing around until they’re intertwined. Mike thinks he can speak more clearly now so he gives it his best shot. “No matter what happens tonight or any other Monday or hell, any other day of any week, we’re gonna be okay,” he says reassuringly.

“I know, Mike,” Alex responds turning to connect with the loving blue eyes next to him and he kisses the top of Mike’s hand.

Mike pulls away only to place a trail of kisses down Alex’s chest making his boyfriend start to writhe underneath him as he travels lower and lower. “I thought we could take a shower together,” Mike seductively suggests in between suckling kisses.

“Yes, please,” Alex responds eagerly.

The two take a long, hot shower but it could barely be considered a shower seeing as how they fool around most of the time. They’re not going to waste a single second they get to spend together, not anymore.


End file.
